This is a very special night to me. Very unexpected, a night I never imagined like that. It's a night perhaps will change my belief forever. My thoughts are so complicated right now that I have to hold on some minutes to write it down instead of going to study in the library.
I received a call by a stranger yesterday on my GRE course. It's a man's voice. He said he got my number from a Korean studying in China. But I don't know any Korean student studying in Beijing. He explained that if I remember the three Korean travellers whom I accompanied during the summer vocation. Then, I know why. He invited me to a party some time later. I accepted it.
I met him tonight at one of the dining halls of my university. He messaged me telling that he would arrive 3 minutes later than the appointment time and he arrived just 2 minutes later of it. I wonder what a guy he is for there seems no need informing someone with such a short delay. Finally, I met him. Shorter but bigger than me. What impressed me most is his face, very affable and kind. In a word, he is totally absent from what I've imagined from his voice on the phone.
We just ordered some simple dishes at the dining hall. Then we started chatting. I know he has worked for 7 years after gruduation, that means he's 8 years older than me. I suspected he's a gay, but immediately negated myself. Although he hasn't married, he has a gril friend and very happy to answer my questions about her. I'm very sorry to doubt this in my heart, but this is very strange talking with a guy you even don't know before for such a long time face to face. I just feel uncomfortable at first, though peaceful as the talking goes. The reason why I feel uncomfortable is that I have to avoid eye contact from time to time. When he look at somewhere I have to look at him to show that I'm interested in what he was talking and when he look at me, I have to switch my sight to somewher else and pretend it at ease. In fact, I like to watch people's eyes to see their heart but I'm shy to do so. Why can't we look at each others's eyes when we talking?
He is a Christian while I'm a party member. He believe God while I should believe nothing. He became a Chistian when he was senior. I have to metion it again that he is perhaps the most different person I've ever seen. He told me he seldom smile after he entered junior middle school because his parents get along with each other badly. It's normal for him to not to talk to anyone for a week. One day before he was introduced to the Bible and Jesus, he was puzzled at the problem What do I live for? He thought hard but failed to get the answer. A girl, one of his classmates appeared to him telling him something about God. If he was not trapped by the problem, he wouldn't have a try. But this time, he just tried. He joined a group of people. A man asked them a question What do you live for? He was shocked. It was the very problem bothered him alot. Someone said for money, someone thought for family...It was his turn. He said for love. The love between parents and children, between a man and a woman, between friends and between human and animals. From then on, he turned himself a christian slowly.
He once asked help for psychologists, but gained nothing from them. Howerver, when he got to Jesus, he began to smile, and it's sensed by all his classmates. I asked him if he hate his parents for their bad marrige. He said they gave him one thing very pricious is that don't accept bribes. Both of his parents are government officials who are party members. I couldn't ask him why they're not getting along with each other well, what I know is that they 're very upright and stubborn. He said he love his parents at a level. But after he became a christian, he love the God at the highest level and he love his parents at a much higher level than before. He had a hard time with his parents for what he's done and now he get along with him better and better. He spoke slowly and peaceful, I've never thought of a man who can give me so deep soul speeh. I just can't imagine. Yet, he did it, very honestly. I just forgot the age, we were chatting deeply and out of soul. He must be the person sent by God to meet me, or, why can he touch my inside with his holiness so truly.
I've told him that I was a party member on our first phone talking. At that time, I was a little proud of saying so. However, after I heard so much from him I just felt a little shameful to metion it again. I dare not but have to say I feel a pity to chose to believe nothing. I can sense the warmth thinking of God but refuse to confess. Hope is a beautiful thing and that's the gift God give us. When I'm hopeless and I choose nothing to believe, I'm lonely.
To my surprise, during our chatting, he greeted many students of BUAA. He is not a graduat from BUAA, how can he know so many students who are strangers to me. Because they are all christians. They know each other in the church. He greeted all of these christians so warmly, which impressed me a lot. And I stood up following him and greeted them asking if they are christians? They all answered yes without any hesitation.
Knowing that I plan to go to study abroad he invited me to join a party to be held the day after tomorrow. Most of the party members are returnees and christians. He thought I can gain something useful from them. What a kind man! What's more, we plan to go to church this weekend. You know, I've never been to the church. It's forbidden for party members to go to churches, however, I think I will still go to visit it.
A wonderful day, isn't it. Like a dream... I still cannot believe it.
