A bad experience with a stranger on the street, an unfavorable passion and a song "Never Took The Time" by Akon contribute to this shabby poem.
So many people
walking
on the crowded street
incuding
me
heading for shool
the destination
where I can
do nothing
inluding
walking
except
wandering
Sun
dizzy
wind
annoying
I was accelerating.
A woman blocked my way
A stranger
Not like a person seeking help
but making trouble.
An interrupter.
Retracting my sight
back to the ground
Never took the time
to stop
But I forgot to retract my ear
she
was chiding
behind my back
Ashamed
I couldn't help
taking the time
to be
ashamed.
I criticized
people were becoming cold with each other
This time I know
I'm not the exception.
Sad.
God.
I'm thinking of you,
again.
Returning......
-
Coming back to Psyche Connections....Looking forward to reconnecting!! Linda
11 years ago
8 comments:
Your a fast learner (not that I am an authority on poetry) but it seemed to me that you can notice progression between your two poems. A deeper understanding, a feeling.
One of my favorite poets is Robert Frost, probably based on my love of the poem "The Road Not Taken" I'd be happy to put it in a blog post if your not familiar with it. That was the first time I remember being truly taken with a poem, well... I guess Tolkien was the first poet I loved, but some poems seem to speak to you differently at different times in your life, at least in my experience.
peace
Thank you, Stu.
Well, the first English poem I read is Charli's, her works on blog. Then I read Linda's and Alex's. I'm imitating their poem format. I wonder whether I put the poems right. Again, please forgive me if I profane the beauty of English poem.
I thought the poem is pretty good. There are many different forms for poems, just as there are in Chinese I believe. So it doesn't matter too much what form you choose or imitate, only the content truly matters.
Happy Thanksgiving from the US!! :D
Rabbit....I love your ability to feel deeply and now to express it in poetry
Hugs and thanks
Linda
Hi Rabbit! Is this your first English poem? It is really beautiful - not shabby at all! You've got great rhythm here and some arresting vocabulary. It is a poem which has surprises. I like that. You keep amazing me!
Also, I am glad you had a good thanksgiving!
All my true followers are almost all here. I'm so grateful! Thanks for your support on whatever I did on my blog.
Alb, yeah, I noticed it that there're many forms of poems just like those of China. I imitate the form of Chaili's. lol
Linda, I'm encouraged by your recent post about poems. You make me feel easy on the poem. I just give a try with your insperation.
Charli, you are always wrting poems. Every poems make me think something, sometimes even a dizzy. I like your poems and I should spare a certain time to absorb them. You are my poem teacher in osmosis.
Thank you, Rabbit! You honor me. I am humbled by and before you.
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